Brody Dalle

Don't get me wrong, I love The Distillers as much as any straight man does. Whatever about the tunes, some are good and some are woeful, but its all about her. Brody Dalle - my dream and my nightmare. I would eat many, many miles of her shite, just for the shit of it (pun intended).

If I was a female, married to Ol Dirty Bastard and had a kicking (Yes, that is the most descriptive word I could think of for rap music, yo) rap career, people would think I was a hot ass ghetto ho. The general public would leave comments on my Youtube videos telling me that they want to "Shine my grills" and "Drag race my motor pussy". These comments would keep me happy and leave me feeling appreciated and slightly damp.

SUDDENLY, TRAGEDY STRIKES. OH WHY. WHY MUST YOU DESTROY ALL THAT IS GOOD, VENGEFUL GODS. WHY!?

I divorce ODB because he ain't hot blooded and primal enough for me, I'm a feisty one. Bitch from round the way. I swan back into the dating scene, and set my sites on James Hetfield of Metallica fame.
"Hello James", I say in the most erotic voice I can do with a think Brooklyn accent.

"Eh... Hi", James replies timidly.

Fill in the blanks yourself, I marry James and start a really good thrash metal band called Breastpocalypse. I worry about what the general public will think of my sudden genre switch. They leave comments on my videos calling me a "Sellout" and "A dirty backdoor slutwhore retardsucker".

Why is Brody Dalle allowed switch genres according to who she's with like a big slutty poser?!

No fair.